attackofthekillermexisaurusrex

Sam Has Some of the Best Lines Ever and Jared Has Some of the Best Outtakes Ever

attackofthekillermexisaurusrex:

I’m just looking at my gifs,

And I’ve realized that Sam has some of the funniest lines ever in the show

Like, I have so many of these gifs that I don’t know whether or not this isn’t funny or not

And then I started looking at Jared’s outtakes

And realized most of them are my favorite outtakes

I just felt like I should point that out. For Science and stuff.

Bo Burnham’s “I Fuck Sluts”

Sluts, sluts, I fuck sluts.
Sluts get fucked when I fuck sluts.
No if’s, and’s or but’s. I fuck sluts.
I fuck sluts. Nice girls are nice but no good for nut-sucking,
You’ll need a serene night to green-light a butt fucking,
But that’ll be easy with sleazy old slut fucking.
Boo to the nice girls. Praise be to slut fucking!
I have a list. A list? Yes a list of all the sluts I’ve missed.
I’ve never fucked or sucked these sluts and thus my nuts are fucking pissed.
So when I fuck the lucky slut my nut removes her from the list.
Another dumb cum-bucket struck from my nut sucking,
Suck it slut, slut fucking bucket-list.
Sluts can be white, black, brown, pink, or almond.
They can be skinny with big tits or be skinny with small ones.
Sluts can be perky, preppy or posh with their brains and their clothes all shrunk from the wash.
But other sluts are pretty and funny and smart.
These sluts can lift all your thoughts from your dick to your heart.
They can talk about science, music, or art.
They can put you together or they can pull you apart.
But don’t trust these sluts, don’t, don’t you dare.
They’ll force you to trust them and love them and care.
And then they’ll be gone and then you’ll be aware
Of that hole in your heart that that dumb slut left there.

So, he was lashing out with sexist language because he had his heart broken. We all learned something.